So a week has gone by since we parted, but I can still recall my first impressions of working with CERMT in NYC.

First I must say it was an honor and a privilege to be able to bring this wonderful profession of massage therapy to Ground Zero and to work beside such inspirational people. I was lucky to be at the right place at the right time to learn about this mission just three weeks before departure. Giving blood makes me queasy so when I read in the paper that I could receive a massage prior to getting stuck with a needle, I made an apt early one Sat in Dec.at our local Red Cross. I thought might be fun to talk shop with some colleagues. There I met Karen, our State Coordinator, who spoke about her experiences doing Chair Massage on the Carolina Emergency Response Team. Her enthusiasm got me hooked and after some swift orientation by our fearless leader Doug Rasmusson I was set to join them @ BB Doyles on the 27th of December.

I didn't realize when I got up that morning that I would be pulling an all-nighter. The Airport Taxi brought me to our rendezvous spot and a few hours later another one took me and my chair & my new volunteer ID card down to St. Paul's Church. This shift from 2:00am till 8:00am became known as the Graveyard shift. Adjacent to the sight where the twin towers stood was the rescue station where we would work. Approaching the area I could see a blue light in the distance and a dome like building creating a background silhouette. I was curious but didn't walk over to look since we were being ushered in to the church. (Better to keep positive energy churning) The interior resembled a church during remodeling. There wasn't scaffolding but banners hung everywhere. Cards and drawings from children pasted all over the walls. Children's art clearly stating their heartfelt wishes to the firefighters and rescue workers that they were grateful for the bravery and that they were thinking about these folks over the holidays. The biggest banner was from Oklahoma, it had a knowing presence that hung low nnear the altar. Even as you sat in the pews you could see dozens of little paper angels taped to the armrests. A sight stored in my memory for good.

Amidst all the greetings, it still felt like a shrine with flowers and lit candles setting the tone. Voices were kept quiet for the workers were asleep in the cots along the wall beside the famous box that George Washington used to pray in. His booth was utilized by a Podiatrist while I was there. Beside him worked the Chiropractors and then Us>Two Massage Therapists and our chairs. I rather enjoyed the perspective from which we worked as we had a overview of all that was going on to assist this phase of relief. There were volunteers at the supply tables handing out socks and things like hand warmers and eyedrops. And then there were snacks and proper meals brought in to feed those working out in the cold. Occasionally someone would mention how awful it was out there but mostly everyone tried to do their job. To stop and think of what brought us here the week between Christmas and New Years was too overwhelming to ponder in the wee hours of the morning. Mostly I remember trying to convince these guys that it was ok to take time out, just fifteen minutes to relax their bodies. There are so used to taking care of others and putting themselves last. Some had been working seven days a week and 12 to 14hrs shifts. One guy told me he had Christmas day off and he slept right through it. These guys were tired. St. Paul's should borrow Lady Liberty's sign "Give us your tired, your cold and your weary." and add hungry. For they would come in for short breaks and go back out again. There was a warmth in that place that did it's best to balance out the work that was going on endlessly outside it's doors.

Some people found solace in their work. Towards the end of my stay I noticed a police woman talking. She was saying what a relief it was to be back at work since her sister had lost her husband in the fire. She said the past few months and the holidays were unbearable. The family had put her sister and her children on a plane to Jamaica to get her through New years day. Now this policewoman could go back to "normal workday" and let family grief take a "vacation" It may like a drop in the bucket, to do a few dozen massages, but we can hope for a ripple affect. We got the type of feed back that lets us know that these guys may seek out massage, or some kind of self care, that they so badly need in the months to come. By being there either right before their nap or right after, they had the opportunity to relax and become rejuvenated before going out in the cold again. Each time they got up off the chair they were really appreciative and happy to have received the work. When your hear that sigh, it says everything. Somehow it meant something that people from other states came to help them share the load. We let them know that leaning on each other during the healing process is all that is left to do.

A day before my week was up, the site was to be opened to the public. I was not thrilled at the prospect of tourists coming there. I called the platform "the Plank" and saw the people lined up to view "the hole". The Destruction site is a mass burial ground and the workers are mourning their colleagues as they sort through the remains. This is not a place for the typical tourist. Initially I thought the victims' family members should have special passes or timed arrival or things should be conducted in a different way. But I guess many of them were waiting a long time for this opportunity, and I had had mine. Although I respect people's wishes to witness and pay their respects, it just felt too soon. Like we weren't finished yet. There is still so much to do. I will be honored again to do this touching work should I get the chance to join the team in the spring.

Peace,
Namaste
Daina of N.Carolina

P.S. Has anyone mentioned just how good looking the FDNY are as a group?