Directors Note:
You may be getting tired of these, but for us it has become a way of life now and our work is far from being done though the clean-up is winding down. This is a story from one of our newest members, Deb (who wrote the angel story). She and Kate worked (massage) for a couple of weeks with the Red Cross at the WTC in early days after September 11th until the massage work was cut off. They have tried and tried to get back in to work. They are happy to be back in now with us and we are thrilled to have them as part of our team. They not only help store our supplies and equipment locally (two new official CERMT closets!), but also go in with Mynou when CERMT is not there and work on our guys. They have already vistied some of the statios with Mynou to check on the Adoptees, deliver supplies and visited a new firehouse. I call them our NY Battalion. Here is their story. Enjoy.
Sylla

So, its Monday night after 11 - just got home a little while ago - so tired but again sooooo high from my day in NYC - and I am compelled to write when the feelings are so fresh and raw and flowing ..........

Kate came down Sunday eve - with a runny nose and scratchy throat - caught my cold from our last adventure I am sure - she came bearing gifts of a homemade apple cake for us for breakfast on Monday - we drank tea and talked and watched the closing of the Olympics in our pj's - a new twist for Kate and I - the mellow side of us that we have never really shared before - we went to bed early anticipating our day in the big apple - We were going down alone - without CERMT - to try to keep the flame alive - in their absence - but we were to meet the French lady Mynou - the aromatherapist - who would tag along and take care of that end of the business -

We got up Monday, showered, ate apple cake and headed out on this beautiful warm winter day - after doing a few errands, making a few stops we headed down on the West Side Highway - heading for lower Manhattan - driving this time - I had called a few firehouses the day before, set up times, let them know we were coming and had our itinerary all set - three firehouses in lower Manhattan - one getting their vaporizer, one getting a timer for their diffuser and introducing ourselves to one where we were to park ourselves for awhile and give massages-

First firehouse - Engine 5 - on 14th Street bet 1st & 2nd Ave -as always, great guys, happy to receive us - we hooked up the diffuser - did a few massages, waited while they answered a call - one of the guys asked if we visited Ladder 3 yet - I said we tried to get in their today but they were having renovations done and it wasn't a good day - "they lost 12 guys there " I explained that I knew that and that it was personal for me trying to get to Ladder 3 as that was Michael Carrol's house - my ex-sister in laws cousin - "oh great guy" he said - so we got directions to our next "house" and headed out for stop #2 - while at Engine 5 we discussed lunch - asked them where we should go - so they called ahead to Engine 33 where we were going and found out they were cooking and we were just in time to join them for lunch -

Drove from 14th St down to Great Jones St - Engine 33 - a little lower in Manhattan - when we arrived we set up our chairs upstairs and then joined about 10 guys in their dining room for lunch - hot roast beef open sandwiches with crispy french fries and onion gravy - they joked and were appalled that Engine 5 didn't feed us - "No-one knows how to cook there" they teased - when we told them that Engine 5 was ordering out for pizza they weren't surprised - said they were the only firehouse in the city that never cooked - "can you believe that " they joked - We said we were lucky to be at their house and the lunch was great - but the plates were the size of platters and the servings fit for a king - treated like one of the guys !!

So, upstairs we go to start our massages - first two brave souls were sent to "check it out " and after melting them under our touch we had many signing up since the report was so favorable - Hard not to see as you looked around the house - the memorial photos of all the guys they lost - lost count at this point - getting all the houses mixed up and the losses just too great to mention - maybe 8 at this house - pictures in a frame - candid shots of their brothers at recreational functions - nicknames written under the pictures - all vibrant, all smiling - all so full of life - rips my gut out every time I see these photos - there was a memorial wreath, flowers long dead standing in the corner - beautiful T-shirts for sale with the names of the losses from this Firehouse who are called "BOWERY "U" - the design on the shirt also a tattoo -

We worked for a few hours - getting to know the guys a little here and there - their humor still amazes me - I always feel so sad when I am sharing these intimate moments with them and they always seem so happy - how can they even manage a smile with this amount of loss - where does their sadness go ? and then you put your hands on them - on their shoulders and necks, you massage their worn and callused hands and you know where it goes - you can feel where it goes - and they let go under your touch - and for a moment its magic - they emerge from the chairs with a different face - with a different walk - with a slower talk - and even if its just for a moment - you helped take some of their pain away -

We are feeling wonderful - the three of us - Mynou such a wonderful addition to the dynamic Kate and Debbie duo - we are learning so much from her - she hugs us and says how happy she is to be sharing the day with us - and we are happy to have her there too - So, its time to leave - no-one left to massage - shift is changing - they are checking their equipment - which they seem to do at the beginning / end of every shift

- and the sounds of those breathing things - don't know their names yet -this breathing apparatus - but they beep - and I remember reading that on 9/11 one of the worst sounds for the rescue workers and firemen - after the buildings collapsed - and the cloud was slowly lifting - when the world was grey - all they could hear in the silent aftermath was the beeping sound of their brothers equipment that they couldn't find - beeping everywhere - a haunting sound I am sure - and only to find no bodies with the beeps or near the beeps -

We ask if we may buy three of these beautiful shirts - so different than any I have seen so far - and they say sure - so Mynou goes with them to this huge closet and gets our sizes and offers her money and they say NO - and we feel AWFUL - she insists on paying and they say NO - we never expected or wanted them for free - but they still say NO - so now we all want to cry cause we have our FIRST authentic FDNY T-shirt -so excited but so sad we couldn't contribute -

We get directions to our next stop - now its 5:30 and getting dark - so far we have parked on the street everywhere - "hey this beats carrying that chair all over the city" we all agree - no bruises on my butt this week - our last stop is down to Engine 6 near the Brooklyn Bridge and our old stomping ground - we decide we must take Mynou and show her the streets we walked and of course our old watering hole the Blarney Star - but first we must deliver the vaporizer to Engine 6 and meet Sylla from CERMT's favorite guys - the driving down there was challenging but with Kate's great navigational skills, my expert city driving techniques and Mynou cheering for us both from the back seat we find our way without a hitch - we park in the "NO PARKING - FDNY -TOW AWAY ZONE" space in front of the "house" and head in -

Unfortunately the guys we were supposed to see weren't there and there was another massage therapist there from Boston giving massages - the guys very kindly give us this huge piece of wood - which is our "dash board sign" - says its ok to park there - very creative - so we set up the vaporizer = Kate and I listen as Mynou expertly gives the guys instructions - we chat with the Boston massage therapist who comes down by herself - no group - and gives massages to Engine 6- we have mixed emotions - wanting to work but not wanting to step on her toes - so we decide its time for a much needed cocktail - Wow we are in walking distance to the Blarney Star! Wow we can leave our car here says Tony - just leave that "sign" on the dash and return it when you get back - How cool is this we are thinking ?? still haven't paid for parking all day - or food - or tolls - what a break -

So, we head up the street and come out near City Hall and I know exactly where I am - when did this happen I wonder ? how did I get to know this city so well - and Mynou just thinks we are great - so we walk down Broadway to Murray and head down and Kate and I haven't been here together since our last day in November - so we want to show Mynou St. John's where we worked -

and we walk around all the streets that are now open - describing to her what it was like back then - and we come upon Greenwich St - where my sacred spot was way back when - and we walk down it now that its open - and get to the new barricade - and Mynou just looks at the "site" and starts to sob - "I have never been this close" she cries - you can still see some of the damaged buildings - and I tell Kate to go sign the banner - so she asks the cop and he says sure - and we chat with him for a bit - explaining we are/were volunteers down here in the beginning - and he tells us he was stationed at the city morgue in the beginning - not a fun job for sure - so we hug Mynou as she cries and she thanks us for sharing this spot with her - and we walk arm in arm in arm back up Murray -

Of course friggin Jack is not working once again - but Mary is bar tending and we ask if she remembers us - and she says "sure" and wants to know where OLA is - we toast our first cocktail to old and new friendships - to this incredible bonding with Mynou - we get to know each other more - we share some intimate life stories - we thank each other for this wonderful moment in time - I take out my LAt and hug it - one I will treasure for a lifetime - we eat - well......I eat more - I have to have Shepard’s Pie made by my little Mexican cook at the Irish Pub - it was almost as good as his corned beef and cabbage - and then we leave - telling Mary we will be back with a crowd on St Paddy’s Day - she is warned - and we tell her to say hi to Jack and sorry we missed him once again -

So, we head up to Broadway and we are only a block from ST. Paul's which Kate has never seen - and we decide to walk by and see if we can get on "the platform" - it’s a quiet night in the city - not too many sightseers out tonight = and we listen to the cops at the barricade to "the platform" tell others that they cannot go up there as it is closed and he would get in trouble - so after listening to them get turned away Mynou tells him we are volunteers and shows him our badges and he opens the gate and says "sure ladies, no problem, go right on up"

We feel like VIP's - we are going to have "the platform" all to ourselves - and we start the walk up - and Kate grabs my hand so tight - you see, we took our famous "walk" to the pile together and we are afraid to see what we are going to see - so we walk up hand in hand - up the ramp - approaching "the view" and we arrive at the top - and look out onto this vast huge hole in the ground that goes down 6 stories and now tears are streaming down Kate's cheeks and we are still squeezing hands - and we just look - its all gone - almost - and we try to tell Mynou what it was like when we took our "walk" and she cries with us again - and I sit down on the floor and sign the wood railing on the platform - and we stay for a minute - virtually alone - except for a few other VIP's who are near us - our own private "viewing " of the big hole that was once ground zero -

We walk back,tears streaming down our faces and we read the posters and signs and tributes and the list of everyone lost on 9/11 - and I find Michael Carol's name on the wall and I touch it - cause indirectly I know him - and directly I know people who are suffering from his loss and just because I needed to touch it - and we walk back to Broadway and around City Hall and down to the car -and we return our "dashboard sign" and we play Kate's favorite 9/11 song and my favorite 9/11 song in the car for Mynou. Kate sings in her angelic voice and the tears are still there - amazing how after 5 months its all so fresh and all so raw and all so painful still -------------

So we drive Mynou back to 17th St and 1ST ave to her car - and get out and hug goodbye and are all amazed at what a wonderful day we had together - how calm and peaceful and flowing we all were together in this another adventure - So Kate and I are looking for the FDR - we are a little turned around - so we pull up next to a cop car at a red light and ask him for directions and the first thing he needs to tell us is that we are not on a one way street and we are in a lane for oncoming traffic - we are shocked and floored - we had no idea it was two way - so we get directions and pull away and we burst out laughing - hysterical - clueless that we pulled up next to a cop on the wrong side of the yellow line -

WOW today was our day - angels watching us, angels with us, touching angels, angels everywhere - it was our day not to pay for parking, it was our day to be fed, it was our day not to walk to a million subway stops with chairs that seem to get heavier with each step you take, it was our day to feel the sun on our faces, it was our day to meet heroes, to be given the most beautiful gift of a commemorative t-shirt, our day to have our own private viewing of the "pile" which is now a "hole", it was our day to cry again, to share our stories, to share our lives, and to laugh our asses off - what a way to end the most perfect day!